If you are visiting someone in jail, the awkwardness because of a lack of something to say can be a challenge.
However, arming yourself with things to say just before your visit to the prison can turn into very pleasant exchanges.
This article contains 20 things to talk about with someone in jail that will definitely break the ice and lead to very interesting conversations.
What to Talk About With Someone in Jail
- I need you to know that I am here for you no matter what
- How have you been feeling lately? You can be honest with me
- Everyone is looking forward to when you will be back home and we can’t wait
- The kids are exceptional and they are doing well. They all send their love
- Is there anything you need?
- Do you have anyone that you have become friends with?
- How is your Faith in God?
- What gives you concern at this moment?
- How’s the food?
- Remember all the good times we’ve had; more are coming.
- There’s been some good news lately! (Proceeds to share a positive story). Doesn’t that make you feel so good?
- I found this beautiful prayer/quote and immediately thought of you. Can I read it to you?
- You know how the littlest things can matter to a person? Like the smell of wet sand to me, what gives you peace right now?
- I still love you so much, and best believe that I am counting down the days
- Let’s focus on the future. What are some things you’re looking forward to doing differently once you’re out?
- My consolation is that all of this will soon be over with
- Let’s find ways to make time work for us
- I’ll be here for the long haul
- I’m proud of how you’re handling this
- Remember that time we (a happy memory?). That was such a great day, and I can’t forget
You may need to use as many as three of these subject matters for your visit. Hence, it is important to know the logic behind each of the recommendations and how they apply when the need arises.
I Need You To Know That I Am Here For You No Matter What
We should start off with something that exudes strength and comfort. Something anyone who is in jail will want to hear or have a conversation on is about how they have people or someone who is willing to be there for them in their ordeal.
It doesn’t matter what your relationship is with the individual. You can always talk about how you would be there for them no matter what happens.
How Have You Been Feeling Lately? You Can Be Honest With Me
Another conversation starter when you meet with someone who is in jail is to ask them about their welfare of late.
If they have been in prison for quite some time or you haven’t visited them in a long while, you can get them to talk about how they have been feeling.
Implore them to be honest. Something about sharing their pain might bring them relief.
Everyone Is Looking Forward To When You Will Be Back Home And We Can’t Wait
Provided the sentence is not for life, you can talk about the expectations you or other people that they know have as regards their return home. This might build confidence in the person knowing that everyone looks forward to when their sentence will be over. It can help them ward off despair too.
The Kids Are Exceptional And They Are Doing Well. They All Send Their Love
If the person serving jail time is a spouse and your union is blessed with children, you can talk about your kids with them.
Share positive updates about the children, what they are up to, and other stuff that are positive. If there are negative things to report, they should come after you have exhaustively shared the positives.
Is There Anything You Need?
There is not much you can do for someone in prison but there are needs they would have that can be easily met – like getting someone to visit them, buying a book for them, running an errand, and so on.
They could share what it is they need and it can form a discussion during your visit.
Do You Have Anyone That You Have Become Friends With?
They must have met friends during their time in prison or formed some meaningful connection. Their newfound friends or connections could be a good place to begin your conversation with them.
You should try and acquaint yourselves with them and even ask for a meeting when next you come around.
How is your Faith in God?
When we go through difficult challenges like being thrown into prison, especially when one is innocent, it is easy to drift from the faith. The person might have professed their faith in God but because they are serving their time in jail, they might grow weak.
You can encourage them and speak of their faith when you visit them. Start by asking about how their walk with God is doing in the midst of the unfortunate circumstances.
What Gives You Concern At This Moment?
Trying to know what bothers them is another conversation starter. You may not be able to remotely fix what concerns them if it is about something going on in the prison. But from your interaction or after asking, you may find out things within your power that can help.
Such things as assuring them of your continued love if they are a partner, fulfilling a request, and so on can be fixed to something bothering them.
How’s The Food?
This might make sense as a way to get talking with someone in jail if they are a foodie. People who love food will always be interested in conversations about food so best believe you can use this to get started.
Remember All The Good Times We’ve Had; More Are Coming
Whether it is your spouse, family member, friend, or sibling, making promises about more of the good times you will share when they leave their cell is going to be a hearty conversation to share.
The hope that it brings can make all the difference for the individual, sufficient enough to even get them to keep faith through their term.
There’s Been Some Good News Lately! (Proceeds To Share A Positive Story). Doesn’t That Make You Feel So Good?
An update about something they have missed is another thing to talk about. You can talk about something amazing that has happened like getting a new job, the baby taking their first step, a child graduating from college, and so on.
Anything that is good news and can put a smile on their face is worth sharing. These updates could so help them feel present and not left out even in prison.
I Found This Beautiful Prayer/Quote And Immediately Thought Of You. Can I Read It To You?
A show of thoughtfulness this is, telling them about a prayer or quote you saw that reminded you of them is a good base to begin interacting with them.
You could offer to read out the prayer or quote and say a few words from there. This could set the stage for more faith-based conversations.
Do You Know How The Littlest Things Can Matter To A Person? Like The Smell Of Wet Sand To Me, What Gives You Peace Right Now?
Quite similar to the idea of asking how they have been holding up, this question is more of a desire to know what has helped them become calm about their situation.
It will resonate with someone who had a hard time being in prison or has complained bitterly about it but has now begun to seemingly enjoy their time. You can get them to share by talking about something that makes you relaxed as well.
I Still Love You So Much, And Best Believe That I Am Counting Down The Days
If this is a short sentence, that is they are not staying locked up for too long, you can talk about your love for them and how you are looking forward to the day of their release.
You could also let them know the things you have planned for them to help them catch up with life. With this notion, it could be anything to set the stage for when they are released. Use this to make plans that you hope to accomplish together.
Let’s Focus On The Future. What Are Some Things You’re Looking Forward To Doing Differently Once You’re Out?
Still like the previous example, consider discussing their plans for life after they get out. This will make more sense if the person has been locked up for a considerable amount of time. If they have spent a great deal of time behind bars, they will have made so many propositions about their future.
Another scenario where this will make sense is if they led a life that brought them to the prison. This could be a way to steer them to consider positive moves to be taken at their release.
My Consolation Is That All Of This Will Soon Be Over With
You can also talk about how short the time they will be spending is. Maybe it is not short if you consider the fact that they may be in the prime of their lives where they should be pursuing a degree or moving ahead career-wise.
But so that they do not give in to despair, you can channel this discussion in the light of their time being little. Sometimes, the magnitude of an issue can be diminished to nothing with words of encouragement.
Let’s Find Ways To Make Time Work For Us
If a spouse gets locked up, it can be hard to keep the fire burning during the time they will be spending behind bars. Hence, it is necessary to discuss what ways the two of you could make up for the time that will be lost.
It is about finding things that matter to both of you and doing them with the visiting time you have. This will be useful if the person is going to be locked for a long time.
I’ll Be Here For The Long Haul
Talking about how you plan to be with them no matter the length of their term in prison is another topic of discussion.
You can help them see that you aren’t going to chicken out or let them be because they made a mistake or have their freedom taken from them.
Partners and spouses will need to do this a lot and even as friends, you can be there for the individual, letting them know that you won’t be turning your back against them. It is good to stay true to this.
I’m Proud Of How You’re Handling This
When the person is locked up under falsehood or they are innocent, it makes sense to talk about how they must be handling the situation, especially if they are doing well.
Commending them for how well they are handling the prison sentence and possibly trying to find out how they are doing is a good way to get talking with them. You could proffer advice to help their efforts.
Remember That Time We (A Happy Memory?)That Was Such A Great Day, And I Can’t Forget
You can also talk about the past when you are visiting someone in prison. It could be a lovely memory you shared with them. Asking them to remember the time could bring a smile to their face and you could go on to talk about other past memories.
There is something about reliving the past because it gives us hope for the future.
Final Thoughts
When you want to talk to someone in jail, you shouldn’t be lost for ideas anymore as there are enough options to try from this article.
Looking through the options that I have provided, you will observe that not every suggestion can be used generally.
You should keenly observe when a discussion sits well. For instance, you should not talk about the future if the person is on death row.
