When someone tells you they are going through a lot, your words should encourage and support them. You may not be capable of pulling them out of the situation but words fitly spoken can be the strengthening they need for the challenging period.
Today, I have curated some of the best responses to ”I am going through a lot right now.” They are a mix of thoughtful, inspiring, and supportive statements you should try as you interact with someone going through a difficult time.
There’s No Way I Can Imagine Or Fathom What You Are Going Through Exactly
There could be some dire situations where words may not suffice in communicating strength or the person isn’t open enough to let you in on what they are going through. In such a scenario, the response I’ll recommend is “There’s no way I can imagine or fathom what you are going through exactly.” Even though you haven’t gone through their experience, people love to hear that other people relate to their experiences.
- I have been there before and trust me when I say it was not fun at all. I got you, girl.
- It must be a lot. I wish to help. Is there a way I can?
I Need You To Know That I’ll Always Be Here For You When You Need Me
Like the 1972 classic by Bill Withers, we all need someone to lean on. A lot of times what people want when they are experiencing difficulties is to know that they’ve got support in a person. If you can just be a shoulder for them to cry on, you can calm them with a response like “I need you to know that I’ll always be here for you when you need me.”
- When you need a shoulder to cry on, you can count on me.
- I may not be able to say the right things but know that if you need anyone, I will be here for you.
I Understand Your Situation. Trust Me, I Have Been There Before
If they open up about what they are going through and it relates to an experience you’ve had, you can tell them “I understand your situation. Trust me, I have been there before.” Telling them about the challenges you faced and how you weathered the storm can be the motivation they need to carry on. Don’t just hype yourself, show them how you made it out and promise to guide them through.
- Oh sweetheart, getting married is a lot of work, I know. This is how I scaled through this phase.
- I can understand your frustration. I had to make some hard decisions to come out of a dilemma similar to yours.
Do You Mind Sharing?
When someone says they are going through a lot, you can try to find out what the problem is. “Do you mind sharing? I want to know how I can assist you” is a good response in this regard. This is because it inquires what the problem is and promises some assistance. When the person sees you want to help, they may become more open in letting you do so.
- Let me know what’s going on and how I can come in.
- Can I know what the matter is?
No Situation Is Going To Last Forever. So Cheer Up, My Friend
Your friend hits you with the “I am going through a lot” text and they are often the happiest, typically the life of the party. A response like “No situation is going to last forever. So cheer up, my friend” will be perfect for them. However, this should come after they tell you what it is they are going through. Since they are your friends, I don’t expect them to cover the truth.
Whatever Time Off You Need To Gather Yourself Together, Do Take It
If you are their boss or colleague who can cover for them while they are away, you can ask the person who’s going through a lot to take time off to pull themselves together. The hustle and bustle of life sometimes may get to us and when one is not in control, it may be termed “going through a lot.”
By telling them ‘Whatever time off you need to gather yourself together, do take it,’ you are encouraging them to step back and meditate to ascertain what’s going on.
- If you need to take time off from work, you could ask the boss. I could fill in for you.
- I could relieve you of your duties while you fix these problems. Is that fine?
There Are A Lot Of People Who Regard You As A Special And Important Human. Never Forget That
Maybe they just experienced a breakup or they are feeling bad about themselves. An encouraging reply to their “I am going through a lot right now” remark is to say “There are a lot of people who regard you as a special and important human. Never forget that.” This should remind them that even though they feel undeserving of love, some people value them and think otherwise.
- While you are feeling worthless, there are thousands of people, even millions who believe you are perfect for them.
- We’ve been friends for how long? You are important to me, to your family, and to all of us.
If I Haven’t Told You, Your Resilience And Courage Inspire Me
One time when I was faced with a difficult situation, I truly felt like giving up. In my friend’s bid to encourage me, he told me “I haven’t said this to you but you inspire me more than anyone.” Knowing that I am an inspiration to other people gave me the boost I needed to stand strong. You can identify something about them that inspires you or other people. See more examples below:
- You have been a support system for a lot of us and that keeps us going. We’ll stand by you.
- If this helps, you inspired me to come out of my shell and I am grateful for that. I pray you find the strength you need to see through this period.
Regardless Of The Turbulence, I Believe We’ll Get Through This Phase
“Regardless of the turbulence, I believe we’ll get through this phase” is an excellent way to encourage someone who’s going through a lot. This reassurance is perfect for people whose spouses are having a hard time. They may not be comfortable when you just encourage them. Hence, you may need to show that you are with them through and through.
- I know babe and believe me when I say I got you. I will always be here for you.
- Darling, don’t worry. You’ve got me, remember.
Do Not Lose Hope. Chin Up, Things Are Going To Get Better
For some people, being emotional or empathetic is not what they need. It could be that they want a confidence boost or a push to keep going when they tell you they are going through a lot. For such persons, a response like “Do not lose hope. Chin up, things are going to get better” would do the magic.
- It is too late to give up, man. Pull your shit together and let’s get stuff done.
- We’ve come a long way to stop moving. You can do this. I am solidly behind you.
You Deserve All Of The Beautiful And Lovely Things That Life Can Offer
When emotional pressure weighs a person down, probably because of a breakup, you can respond with “You deserve all of the beautiful and lovely things that life can offer.” This is meant to make them realize how deserving they are and to motivate them to get over the hurt they feel quickly. It may not be tied to emotions alone as scenarios like bad grades, failing to impress, etc could be seen as “going through a lot.”
- Don’t let these circumstances break you. You are bigger than them. I know you are.
- It may be hard to see it but I know you are worth it and deserving.
If You Want, We Could Get Some Drinks Later Tonight And Talk About What’s Going On
Another way you can respond to them is to take time to hang out with them and talk about what it is they are going through. Some people may not need your help or something, they just want to be heard and they’ll be fine. You can offer to do that and if they want to talk, they’ll oblige.
- When do you get off work today? We can see after work so we talk about it.
- I think we should have a sit-out and talk about it. What do you say we grab dinner by 6 pm tonight? Or whenever is convenient for you.
What Could It Be About? Work? Family? Boyfriend?
This response attempts to show concern and it is best suited for someone you are friends with or very close to. This is why I said you should use it when talking with someone that you are quite familiar with.
I Understand That You Need Some Time And I Don’t Want To Be Insensitive
If you are asking someone out and they tell you “I am going through a lot right now,” you can respond this way. This will position you as an understanding person. You may even volunteer to help them through the hard times if they are sincere about it.
I Hear You. Life Can Be Overwhelming Sometimes But You’ll Scale Through
Another inspiring and encouraging statement to give in response is “I hear you. Life can be overwhelming sometimes but you’ll scale through.” We all know that there are times when the vicissitudes of life can be downright exasperating. Encouraging the person and letting them know they can pull through could be all they need.
Don’t Be Too Hard On Yourself. You Are Already Doing The Best You Can, And That’s a Positive One
A lot of times people put so much pressure on themselves even when they are doing enough already. You can easily identify these people when they are close to you. So, if someone says “I am going through a lot right now,” and they are just overstressing, you can respond with “Don’t be too hard on yourself. You are already doing your best and that’s a positive one.”
I Am Surprised You Are Calm About It. It Takes A Lot Of Courage To Open Up About Personal Problems
There are times when an individual might be going through something that in your estimation could break you but seem to be bossing it effortlessly. If this is the case, your response could be ‘I am surprised you are calm about it. It takes a lot of courage to open up about personal problems.”
I Heard About The Incident. My Thoughts Are With You
This is a thoughtful response that shows how much you care. When you use this response it shows that you have the person in mind and that you want things to get better soon. When next someone tells you how hard things are, this is a good response you can use.
Just Believe You’ll End Up Where You Want To Be
“Just believe you’ll end up where you want to be” will be a good response when the person who says they are going through a lot hopes to be in a better place. 
It was a scenario that played out in my life. I was putting in the effort but I wasn’t making progress. If that’s the person’s dilemma, use this response or any of the recommendations below:
- I know how hard you are trying to get your grades up. Keep believing and working towards it.
- Keep your head high, bro. The universe rewards hard work and you won’t be an exception.
No Matter What Happens, Keep Pushing On, And If You Must Fail, Fail Forward
If you observe the person needs a confidence boost, you can tell them that “No matter what happens, keep pushing on, and if you must fail, fail forward.” As I have always iterated, sometimes people need to be motivated when they claim to be going through a lot.
Before You Go,
Life happens to everyone regardless of how prepared you are. When someone has to go through the vicissitudes of life, they will need pillars of support and strength. It behooves us the responsibility as friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, and humans to lessen the burden they must be feeling.
While your words can go a long way in providing the encouragement and vote of confidence they need, you should be willing to take necessary actions to help. It could be deciding to listen and talk with them, hanging out with them, supporting them financially, taking off some tasks from their table, babysitting their kids, and so on.
Whatever lies within your capacity, for the sake of someone on the verge of giving up, please do.
