You have an appointment with someone and they just sent you a text message or called in that they won’t be able to make it anymore. I know the disappointment you’d feel which could blur your sense of journey in sympathizing with them or responding thoughtfully. This is why I have gathered 20 of the best responses for when someone tells you they cannot make it.
For variety, I have ensured that this article has sarcastic, formal, and informal responses so that you can respond appropriately when the need arises.
These responses will help you respond in the calmest and considerate way possible when someone tells you they are unable to make it to a previous arrangement:
Such A Shame, You Are Missing Out On A Lot Of Fun
If the occasion was a party or picnic and they called to say they won’t be coming through, you can tell them how much fun they are missing out on. Nobody likes to know they are not part of an event that is going to be the hottest gist except the reason is cogent enough. This is why “Such a shame, you are missing out on a lot of fun” is a good way to respond to them.
You Really Should Reconsider Your Decision
“You really should reconsider your decision” is another recommendation when a friend tells you they won’t make it to an event, sleepover, or something related. Since it is informal, you can tell them to rethink their decision and maybe give them reasons why.
- Think about this again. Sam is here, you know.
- I don’t want you to regret it like last time. Are you sure you don’t want to come through?
Whatever The Reason Mate, I Hope It Is Worth Your Time
With your friends, you can try to gaslight them when they say they won’t be pulling up when y’all planned to go somewhere. “Whatever reason mate, I hope it is worth your time” may sound a bit insensitive, that’s why I recommend using it with friends.
It’s Fine. The Event Isn’t As Good As We Hoped
If whatever function you were going to attend wasn’t a hit as you expected, you can comfort your friends so they do not feel too bad about not making it. “It’s fine. The event isn’t as good as we hoped” is a nice remark to use. There are a couple of other responses you can try:
- The party isn’t partying bruv. You aren’t missing anything, trust me.
- Forget it. You made a good decision to not show up.
Really? Is There A Reason Why?
“Really? Is there a reason why?” is an inquiry into why the person decided to disappoint you. It could give you an idea about why they may not be coming through as originally planned. Knowing their reason could make you respond in a more empathic way. You should also be prepared to not get any cogent reasons and still not act inappropriately.
Thank You For Informing Us/Me. I/We’d Hoped You Would Be Able To Join Us. Do Have A Lovely Day/Evening
In a formal setting, you’d want to appreciate them for informing you about their change of heart. Although sad, you could reaffirm how you hoped they’d attend the meeting, event, conference, or whatever formal stuff you have planned. Your response could either be on a generic basis “Thank you for informing us. Do have a lovely day/evening” or you could add a personal touch, depending on the context.
You Should Have Said Earlier. I Already Made Reservations For You
There’s nothing wrong with informing them about the impact of their decision. Here, the delivery has to be in a calm tone so that you can state your displeasure in an unnerving way. This one is suited for when they didn’t share any changes they may be making on time and it was too late to accommodate such.
Oh Shoot, I Will Save You A Slice Of Pizza And Hope The Wine Doesn’t Run Out
You can use sarcasm to respond to someone who’s not showing up for a planned arrangement. If it is a party, the pizza and wine narrative would go. You can tweak it depending on the situation like the examples below:
- I just tried the food here and I must confess you are on a long ‘ting to not be here, brother.
- You man are missing. Look at the women here. They are bangin’.
I Understand You Have A Busy Schedule. Hope You Catch Up Some Other Time
This works for both formal and informal settings. A lot of times, people cancel appointments because they have busy schedules and something more important comes up. If you were supposed to meet up with this person and they canceled abruptly, you can respond with “I understand you have a busy schedule. Hope you catch up some other time.”
Don’t Sweat It.
Probably they are supposed to be in a meeting and they sent you a text to say they were running late and wouldn’t be able to make it. You can reply with “Don’t sweat it. I will send you all the important details” to let them know that you have them covered. This one works best with business partners, colleagues, and employees.
Not Having You Is An Absolute Bummer
Another informal way to respond when someone says they can’t make it is to tell them that “Not having you is an absolute bummer.” The word ‘bummer’ simply means disappointment. For dinners, parties, school events, etc, if a friend fails to show up, this is a good way to reply graciously.
Don’t Beat Yourself Up. There’s Not Much You Are Missing
When you and a friend were supposed to go somewhere together and they called in with last-minute changes while you were already at the location, you can make it look like they are better off not being there. This will help them get over any feelings of guilt they may be struggling with for standing up.
Everyone Was Super Excited About Getting To See You. I Will Try And Communicate The Reasons For Your Absence
If you had a guest coming over for an official assignment and they called to say they weren’t coming anymore, it can be disappointing and even when you don’t want to show it, you can use your words to present it soothingly. “Everyone was super excited about getting to see you” acknowledges that you are a bit disappointed while the follow-up, “I will try and communicate the reasons for your absence” uplifts the tone.
Is There An Emergency?
You can be a bit thoughtful in your response by suggesting reasons why you expected them to cancel. The idea is to show you are more bothered about their safety than them showing up. It is not a random “Why won’t you make it?” but a postulation of several reasons that could have warranted ditching the plans you both had.
- I hope it isn’t because of something too serious.
- Is there an issue? Please, take care of yourself.
I’ll Be Here Until 6 pm. Should Your Plans Change And You Decide To Come
If you were at a location waiting for your date and they called to say they won’t be meeting up with it, you may want to express your anger and displeasure for being stood up like that. We want to show that we have class so we’ll give them the benefit of the doubt. You might be lucky and they may see reasons to show up anyway.
Your Absence Would Be Greatly Felt But We’ll Manage Without You
In formal arrangements, another response you can use would be “Your absence would be greatly felt but we’ll manage without you.” This is not only in referring to guests alone. It can be used across the board – for other colleagues and employees alike. So long as the person in question is an important part of the personnel required to be in that meeting or event.
Thank You For Informing Me On Time. I Will See How To Make The Adjustments Necessary
I already gave you a response that can be used when you weren’t informed on time. Here’s one for when the notice to rain check came early enough. “Thank you for informing me on time. I will see how to make the adjustments necessary” expresses gratitude for the prompt notice while assuring the person their absence can be made up for. This doesn’t imply they aren’t valuable, it just shows adjustments will be made to accommodate their absence.
Who’s Going To Fill In For You? No, Let Me Worry About That
This response is two-phased. When someone tells you they won’t make it, you can respond with “Oh dear, who’s going to fill in for you?” They could try to suggest people to fill in for you or go on to apologize or give you reasons why they won’t come. If they do, you respond with “No, let me worry about that.”
I Believe You Have Good Reasons
Another gracious response for when someone can’t make it is to say “I believe you have good reasons.” This prevents them from trying to give reasons why they won’t be able to make it. The good thing about this is it saves you from the awkward conversation but that is if they take the bait to just agree with you and move on. It doesn’t matter whether they’ve got good reasons. For you, they should only cancel because they’ve got good reasons.
It Is Okay If We Reschedule To A Time That Would Be Convenient For You
To sign off on these gracious responses for when someone can’t make it is this statement, “It is okay if we reschedule to a time that would be convenient for you.” I like this one because it quickly tries to move on from reasons and consequences to a compromise. You wouldn’t mind being disappointed if they’d agree to reschedule. Whether it is an informal or a formal setting, this response is going to work.
Final Thoughts
Someone calling to cancel an appointment or tell you they won’t be making it can be a painful experience especially when the event means a lot to you. However, if you do not want to project your disappointment or anger over their actions, your words need to be seasoned with salt. That’s what these responses are about – mild, gentle responses for when someone can’t make it.
I have ensured that these responses cover a broad range of scenarios and contexts. You can bookmark this page or save some of the best for easy referencing when you need to.
