Some people believe that it takes a village to raise a child, while others believe that it is just the responsibility of the parents and no one else.
However, where the parent of a minor is not available and you are to take temporal responsibility for the child, you might likely hear, “You’re not my mum,” when you give them instructions especially if they are stubborn.
Another situation that could warrant a person telling you, “You’re not my mum,” is when you try to make them accountable and they get irritated by your effort even when they know that you are right.
Since this statement is mostly said in the heat of a disagreement, we don’t expect you to come up with something immediately, but not to worry, we’ve got you covered. In this article, you will be learning twenty (20) intelligent ways to give snappy replies to the statement, “You are not my mum.”
Well, Where’s She? Cause While She Abandoned You, I Stayed To Take Care Of You.
If your patient has worn thin with the constant reminder that you are not their mum, then this may be a painful way to remind them that the real mum they are clamoring for abandoned them.
I Am Not, But If I Don’t Stay To Mummy You, Who Will?
If they have forgotten that there is no one to occupy the position of Mum in their lives, then this must be a good way to remind them. This snappy retort can also be directed to a romantic partner who gets irritated by your smothering affection.
- “I am not, but if I don’t stay with Mummy you, who will?”
- “Well…”
That’s Rich Coming From Someone Who Runs To Me Every Time They Have A Problem.
Well, anyone who runs to you immediately who needs a problem that a Mum can solve should not have any problem recognizing you as their real mum.
- “That’s rich coming from someone who runs to me every time they have a problem.”
- “Oh well.”
No, But I’m The One Who Stayed To Take Responsibility For You Instead Of Leaving You To Go Into The System.
Most times, when there is no adult to take care of a minor, they are usually taken into foster care to have adults look after care of them, but most children are in foster care.
I May Not Be Your Biological Mum, But I’ve Raised You Since You Were Little So That Makes Me Your Mum.
Being biologically connected to someone is not the only way to be related to them. Family is beyond blood connection which is what this retort seeks to show.
- “I may not be your biological mum…”
- “Yeah.”
I Will Never Try To Replace Your Biological Mum, But I Will Do For You What She Was Not Able To – Be There For You.
When the child’s biological mum is known to have abandoned him/her when they were little, this retort is a reality check to get them in line.
- “I will never try to replace your biological mum…”
- “Yeah right.”
- “…but I will do for you what she was not able to – be there for you.”
You Should Have Thought About That When You Allowed Me To Take Care Of You All Those Years.
Even when the teenager is acting out, this snappy retort lets them know that since you were taking care of them, you have the right to make certain decisions about them.
As Far As It Is On Your Birth Certificate That I Am Your Mum, It Cannot Get More Real Than That.
This snappy retort comes with proof in the child’s legal certificate that you are their mother, so their opinion doesn’t matter as long as they are still a minors.
- “As far as it is on your birth certificate that I am your mum…”
- “Whatever.”
- “…it cannot get more real than that.”
Are You Sure? I Would Never Have Believed That I Was Just A Mere Illusion, I Thought That I Was Real.
This snappy retort is a sarcastic way to react to the statement ‘You are not my real mum’, as it focuses on the word ‘real’ and what it stands for.
- “Are you sure?”
- “Yes!”
- “I would never have believed that I am just a mere illusion, I thought I was real.”
You Can’t Play That Card Whenever You Want To Run Wild, Else You Will End Up In Juvenile Detention.
Most teenagers attempt to do emotional blackmail, especially when they want an excuse to run wild or get something.
- “You can’t play that card whenever you want to run wild…”
- “I’m not.”
- “…else you will end up in juvenile detention.”
Your Act Of Defiance Will Not Get You Anywhere, And I Am Not Going To Change My Mind.
This ploy is used by most teenagers when they want their parents/guardians to approve of something but they are adamantly refusing to do so.
As Far As I Have Not Been Disrespectful To You Even As A Child, You Will Respect Me As The Adult That Makes All The Decisions Around Here.
There are parents/guardians who respect their child’s decision to show them an example of what being respectful means, but that is returned with a high level of disrespect.
- “As far as I have not been disrespectful to you even as a child…”
- (Rolls eyes)
- “…you will respect me as the adult who makes all the decisions around here.”
I Didn’t Know It Took Only Biology To Be A Mum, Your Biological Mum Should Have Stayed Then.
This snappy retort educates the child in a not-so-nice way that it takes more than biology to become a parent.
- “I didn’t know it took only biology to be a mum…”
- “I didn’t mean that.”
- “…your biological mum should have stayed then.”
I Am Your Aunt, And Right Now, Your Mum Has Put You Under My Care So You Will Listen And Be Respectful To Me.
If it is your relative that is acting out, then you can snap back at them using this retort. It lets them know that since the legal guardian has put them in your care, you have the right to tell them what to do.
- “I am your aunt, and right now, your mum has put you under my care so you will listen and be respectful to me.”
- “Yes ma’am”
I Am The Closest Thing You Will Ever Have To A Mum So You Better Be Grateful Instead Of Being Saucy.
In a world, where either death or lack of accountability makes one not take their motherly role seriously, any child who has someone that decides to step up to that role should be grateful.
I Am Your Big Sis Who Loves And Takes Care Of You, So Instead Of Being Such A Brat, Grow Up!
It is never easy being a big sister as you have to handle the stress of your younger ones who probably like to act out and be stubborn.
I Am Your Stepmother Who Has Agreed To Take Care of And Be There For You, So You Will Respect Me As Such.
Most times, when you date or get married to a man who already has a child, they are bound to say “You are not my mum,” and this is the best retort if you want to snap at them.
I Am Your Grandma Which Is Way Higher Than Your Mum, So If You Don’t Want To Get Spanked, You Best Behave.
When you finally become a grandma, it is always the best honorable position and of course, you have a higher authority because you are older and related to them.
- “I am your grandma which is way higher than your mum…”
- (Frowns)
- “…so if you don’t want to get spanked, you best behave.”
It’s Okay To Call Me Anything Else If You Don’t Feel Comfortable Calling Me Mum, But You Will Do As I Tell You.
This snappy retort is more considerate than threatening and allows the kid to feel more comfortable around you by addressing their concerns about calling your mum.
I Am Your Other Mum Cause I Married Your Dad So I Deserve The Same Respect You Would Accord Your Biological Mum.
This is a strategic way to let the kid know that you have some authority to tell them what to do as given to you by your marriage to their parent.
- “…so I deserve the same respect you would accord your biological mum.”
- “Yeah, whatever.”
To End With,
They are called snappy retorts because they are meant to put the other person in their place but this could hurt them. So, while trying to sound smart and think on your feet, be sure to be thoughtful in your approach.
However, your thoughtfulness should not deprive you of the chance to say your mind or defend yourself and that is what these twenty (20) snappy retorts will do for you.
