People vent for a lot of reasons. One primary one is to let out all the anger and frustration. When you are the recipient of a venting gesture, you don’t want to trigger them or escalate the issue. You want to ensure they are feeling better after that. To achieve this, you’ll need to use your words correctly.
This article on supportive responses for someone venting takes into consideration what should be said in various venting scenarios. With these responses, which have been briefly explained, you’ll be armed with important sentences that would breathe support and calmness into any venting situation.
I Now See Why You Are Upset
When someone’s venting they are probably upset and trying to give you reasons to justify their anger. One of the best ways to show your support for their emotions is to tell them that you now see why they are upset. This will make them confident that you relate to their standpoint about how the circumstance made them feel.
You Are One Of The Strongest Persons I Know I Am Sure You’ll See Through This
If the person is venting about problems they may be going through, it is a good opportunity to encourage them with some motivation. “You are one of the strongest persons I know I am sure you’ll see through this” is a good response to give in this regard. It highlights what you think about the person’s personality which makes them built to withstand whatever they are going through.
Now I Understand What You Mean
When someone is venting but they are trying to make you understand their point of view, they’ll feel happier when you do so. “Now I understand what you mean” is a statement that shows you understand what they are trying to say. One sign to know that they are venting because they need you to understand their viewpoint is when they keep asking questions of affirmation like “Do you understand?” “Are you following?” etc.
Nobody Should Be Treated That Way
If they are venting about how someone treated them, you can respond with “Nobody should be treated that way.” Since they already feel they shouldn’t be treated the way they had just experienced, you can satisfy their emotions by agreeing they are right to think that way.
If Any Consolation, I Believe It Is Okay To Feel Sad And Angry About It
Some so many people vent not because they need you to solve their issue or contribute to it. They just want you to give them validation for their feelings. I have seen it with most ladies. What they want is for someone to agree with how they are feeling. That’s what this response, “If any consolation, I believe it is okay to feel sad and angry about it,” seeks to achieve.
That’s Bizarre
Some words and phrases are conversation boosters. They may not bear any significant meaning but we use them when we are trying to get the conversation going in the direction the speaker wants. “That’s bizarre” is one of them. If you just want them to go on which is another way to support them, use these:
- Girl, what were they thinking?
- OMG. That’s out of line.
How Do People Think? That’s Crazy
If the person is sharing their feelings about something someone did or some people did, a good way to respond would be “How do people think? That’s crazy.” You are simply staying on their side with this one while relaying what you think which is in sync with what they feel.
I Know You Feel Like Letting All Hell Loose.
“I know you feel like letting all hell loose.” Depending on your estimation of how ridiculous the event went, you can use this response to suggest that you agree with their actions while adding you’d have done the same.
I Agree With You On This One. Things Shouldn’t Be Done That Way
As people vent, they may add what they think about the events. If they are doing so, you can say “I agree with you on this one. Things shouldn’t be done that way.” This backs what they are saying. You are outrightly showing support for their perspective on the issue. Not the issue itself but what they said about it.
They Are Wrong To Have Handled The Issue Like That
When there’s a case of people handling something wrongly as the individual shares their experience, you can reply with “They are wrong to have handled the issue like that.” If this is what the person is trying to portray – how wrong the people were in taking care of the issue- then you are green with this response.
Do You Want My Take On The Matter?
Sometimes, you want to be sure what the other party wants you to do as they vent. It could be that they want you to listen to them or tell them what you think about a specific part of their narration. It is important to listen to them well enough, then, when they are done narrating their experience, you can ask “Do you want my take on the matter?”
Your Actions Are Valid. Yes, They Are
“Your actions are valid. Yes, they are” would suffice as a good response to someone who’s venting when they did something that they feel wasn’t entirely good. If they performed an action in their narration and from their tone, it feels like they’re regretting, you can tell them whether it was the right thing to do.
- Well, what you said wasn’t nice. I understand you were hurt, but you’ll have to apologize to them later.
- You don’t have to feel bad. Putting him in his place like that was the right thing to do.
What Followed After That?
“What followed after that?” could be a great way to show interest in their talk. People who are obsessed with what others think about them would want to be sure you don’t think they are talking too much or boring you with a gist you are not interested in. However, you’ll need to be careful when using this one as the person may mistake it for tiredness.
- Goodness. What followed after that?
- This is interesting. And he didn’t realize he was wrong.
I Applaud How Well You Handled The Issue.
Another good way to respond when someone’s venting is to put yourself in their shoes and tell them what you would have done. This shows you are trying to participate in whatever action they might have taken. You could say “I applaud how well you handled the issue.”
- If I were in your shoes, I might have said worse.
- I always envy you, girl. If it was me, the Lord knows I am bringing the hatch down.
No One Would Deny How Hard It Is To Deal With That
If what they are ranting about is something you feel is too difficult to deal with and you are wondering how they saw through it or are seeing through it, you can show your support for them by saying “No one would deny how hard it is to deal with that.” They are going to get the message and feel secure to share more.
How Come No One Saw Things From Your Perspective?
One thing that makes people angry and want to vent is when they aren’t heard or no one sees things from their point of view. If this is the reason someone is venting to you, respond with “How come no one saw things from your perspective?” This will make them happy as they’d assume you agree with them on the matter.
I Understand Your Frustration But I Need You To Be Calm
If they are stating their frustration about something but you observe their emotions rising, as though they are losing their cool, you might want to defuse the tension and calm them. You can say “I understand your frustration but I need you to be calm”’ Don’t start by trying to calm them, they wouldn’t want to have any of that. Show them that you understand why they are angry before attempting to get them to become calm.
If It Helps, You Can Pour Out All Of Your Anger And Frustration On Me
When someone randomly starts venting to you, they may caution themselves along the line. If you observe this, you can say “If it helps, you can pour out all of your anger and frustration on me.” This statement truly gives the other person the idea that you are thoughtful about them. It can also be used on a colleague at work or an acquaintance.
Wow, That’s An Awful Lot. What Do You Say We Take A Walk Or Go Do Something Fun?
You can easily tell when someone has gone through a lot and they are venting. In such a scenario, your words could be directed at something you two could do that would make them calmer or get their minds off it. If they are your friend or spouse, you could tell what shared activity you can engage in to elevate their mood.
- How about we grab a drink and laugh over our woe stories?
- What do you say we go paint-balling? So, you can release all the anger and frustration you feel?
You Know What? I’ve Got A Bizarre Experience Just Like Yours
Finally, another way you can respond in a supportive manner to someone who’s venting is to tell them how much you relate to their experience. It could be that something similar happened to you or you encountered the same situation one time. Timing is all that matters in this response. You mustn’t cut them off or do it in a way that tries to belittle whatever they went through.
- I perfectly understand what you are saying and how you feel. You know that this happened to me some months back.
- My experience wasn’t as bad as yours (even if it is bad).
Final Thoughts
When someone is venting, there are a lot of emotions rushing through their being. Coupled with these emotions are various ways they expect their listener(s) to respond. Choosing the right words to use in responding isn’t enough. The timing, tone, and delivery are some of the most important factors to consider.
Following through on any of the responses requires understanding the context. Once you’ve done that and you are sure what the speaker wants, you can drop a response that captures support in every way possible.
