Have you ever been in a situation when someone says ‘Sit on my face’ and you are lost for ideas about the perfect comeback to hit them where it hurts? The phrase in question is explicit and derogatory. Anyone who says this deserves to be put in their place, this is why I have compiled some of the best comebacks you can use to your advantage.
It Is How You Boldly And Repeatedly Show Your Stupidity That Gets To Me
If this person has consistently pestered you illicitly, you can deal them a severe blow about being stupid. ‘It is how you boldly and repeatedly show your stupidity that gets to me’ will get them harder than they expect.
Wow, You Couldn’t Try To Look Mature Just This One Time
Faulting them on grounds of being immature is another way to develop a comeback. Imagine telling a full-grown, bearded dude that they are immature. It is going to make them quake. Hence, you can use ‘Wow, you couldn’t try to look mature just this one time’ to show your displeasure about their illicit comment.
I Am Certain That Most People Are Astonished By Your Foolishness
You want to sound like prime Shakespeare for this one. When someone says ‘Sit on my face,’ you can reply with ‘I am certain that most people are astonished by your foolishness.’ You could also use a statement like ‘I am confident the bulk of manhood is amazed by your folly.’ There’s no way they are coming back from that one.
I Am Happy You Are Not 40 Yet. You Still Have A Chance To Not Be A Fool Forever
You know they say ‘a fool at 40 is a fool forever,’ this is another angle you can draw a response from. ‘I am happy you are not 40 yet. You still have a chance to not be a fool forever’ is a major hit considering how intelligent it sounds. They may not get the full scope of your comeback but when they do, it is going to be so much pain.
I Fancied The Chance Of Engaging You But It Would Be Too Condescending For Me
This response puts you in a superior state. When you say ‘I fancied the chance of engaging you but it would be too condescending for me,’ you mean that you would have done some back and forth with them but have decided against that. You want to show them that they are nowhere close to your level.
There’s Nothing Common About Having Common Sense But You Make It Even Rare
‘There’s nothing about having common sense but you make it even rare’ is another way to snap at someone who says ‘Sit on my face.’ Common sense is a phrase that represents the most basic level of judgment and knowledge that every human is believed to know. This response assumes common sense is not ‘common’ but they prove it is rare.
I Think You Have A Problem But I Can’t Quite Place If It Is A Communication Issue Or A Brain Disorder
With a proper delivery, this response will hurt deeply. ‘I think you have a problem but I can’t quite place if it is a communication issue or a brain disorder’ suggests that they either have a communication problem or are sick in the head. Almost nothing beats this clapback.
Only A Lowlife Will Say Something Like That To Someone They Just Met. Oh Shoot, That’s Really What You Are
Some people truly have guts but it is downright foolhardiness. Imagine meeting someone and they are trying to be provocative to the extent they say ‘Sit on my face,’ you will need to draw up boundaries and place them where they belong. This is what ‘Only a lowlife will say something like that to someone they just met. Oh shoot, that’s really what you are ’ as a comeback will help you achieve.
Once You Open Your Mouth, You Show How Uncultured You Are
When you are at a formal setting such as a workplace, school, or formal event and someone who you are acquainted with says ‘Sit on my face,’ your snap-back should express your displeasure at their words. ‘Once you open your mouth, you show how uncultured you are’ is one of the ways you can say it.
I Hate To Break It To You But You Don’t Come A Mile Close To Bedding Me
‘I hate to break it to you but you don’t come a mile close to bedding me’ is a statement that will leave them dumbfounded. What you are trying to achieve with this is to suggest they do not come close in standards and quality to have an intimate relationship with you.
Wow, Do You Ever Hold Intelligent Conversations? Why Am I Even Surprised?
If this is someone you know who repeatedly fails in your books to talk appropriately, you can use a response like ‘Wow, do you ever hold intelligent conversations? Why am I even surprised?’ They will be taken aback and I am confident they’ll spend so much time processing it they won’t come up with a good retort.
Looks Like Your Momma Didn’t Teach You How To Talk To A Lady
Some men just give this unschooled, unlearned vibe when they interact with women. For those people, a snapback would be ‘Looks like your Momma didn’t teach you how to talk to a lady.’ This should get them thinking about how they ought to talk to women. You may just be saving a young man with this one.
Oh Dear, You Must Have Been With Depraved Women Before But I Am Not Surprised Because Birds Of The Same Feather Flock Together
With this response, you are taking a dig at women in the dude’s life while implying he attracts what he is. If birds of the same feather flock together and he’s been with depraved, lowlife women, then he must be depraved too. You don’t need to prepare for a counterattack. This will be the only blow needed.
Whew… And There Goes Your Chance
I like this comeback because it is pretty dramatic. To say the ‘Whew,’ imitate a plane taking off and then follow it up with ‘and there goes your chance.’ I recommend this response when the person who says ‘Sit on my face’ is someone who’s been attempting to woo you. Whether you consider them or not, it is a good one nonetheless.
- Congratulations! You wasted your opportunity, and as well.
- Whew… try harder next time, fam.
I Wouldn’t Say I Didn’t Expect You To Be Stupid. I Only Thought It Hadn’t Deteriorated To This Extent
Maybe this person is someone you just started talking to after a brief hiatus. If they tell you ‘Sit on my face,’ you should respond with a bitter blow like ‘I wouldn’t say I didn’t expect you to be stupid. I only thought it hadn’t deteriorated to this extent.’ They wouldn’t be expecting such a vicious hit.
Sorry To Ruin Your Hopes And Aspirations. I’ll Pass. You Can Try That With Those One-Dollar Girls At Red-Light Districts
This one starts off being mild until we get to the closing part where the comeback is. No man wants to be considered cheap or seen as someone who patronizes cheap call girls. You can also say ‘You think I will jump at your offer? Sorry to disappoint you but I am not one of those loose women you often have your way with.’
Look At Wisdom Begging You To Embrace Her But Then You Are Already Married To Foolishness
This is a very funny one but it is a comeback to ‘Sit on My Face’ in all severity. Using this would indicate they are refusing to walk the path of wisdom but have joined themselves to foolishness. I bet if you said this to them in person, other bystanders would laugh.
Your Girl Is Unlucky To Have Met Someone As Unfortunate As You
Have you ever heard someone talk and you begin to pity their spouse or partner? It happens to me all the time. This response, ‘Your girl is unlucky to have met someone as unfortunate as you,’ attempts to demean them as being unworthy of whoever they are dating or married to.
- Your wife must have a hard time dealing with your folly every day.
- You are the fool the Bible book of Proverbs keeps talking about.
When You Become Half A Man, I May Take You Up On That Offer
Attacking his manliness is a good way to snap at him for saying ‘Sit on my face.’ To do this, you can simply say ‘When you become half a man, I may take you up on that offer.’ What you are trying to do is demean them as not being enough or up to your standards. This retort will get them thinking about their existence.
- Standards bro. You don’t meet my standard, bruv.
- I think you should focus on putting your sh*t together rather than struggling to get laid.
Isn’t It Tiring When Your Hopes Are Sorely Far From Your Reach? Losing Must Be Sad
You can sound empathetic but throw some shade at them with a response like ‘Isn’t it tiring when your hopes are sorely far from your reach? Losing must be sad.’ It looks vague but it is good enough to throw them off balance by suggesting they are hoping to get laid but you aren’t as unsuspecting as they thought.
- You must be tired of never getting your way around high-profile women. Sorry, mate.
- Surely it must hurt a great deal to never be successful with your provocative attempts. You failed again, man.
Final Thoughts
The goal is to deliver your comeback in a way that doesn’t allow them to think of any other response. There’s no need to go back and forth with them. Tell them what it is you want to say and let them deal with that. Do not entertain any disrespect and let everyone understand their place and what it is they can say to you.
