The librarian’s job role isn’t confined to libraries alone as they help people curate materials for research purposes and aid studying in every way possible.
If you want to get a conversation started with one or you are just looking for ways to get talking with a librarian, I have compiled 20 funny questions to ask a librarian for you.
They are questions that are inherently funny or can generate a funny response. Let’s get into it.
20 Funny Questions to Ask a Librarian
- Why is the library always crowded?
- So, someone asked me to read this book (hold up a dictionary or encyclopedia) and I was wondering, how good is it?
- Can I steal someone’s card and use it to collect books from the library?
- Is this the place where I can borrow books and not return them?
- I cannot find the General Mathematics textbook and I have looked everywhere in the Psychology section. Why is that?
- How many books do you sell every day?
- If I am going to start a library, what do you think I should do first?
- I am a Physiology major but I want to know, where can I get information to perform a surgery?
- I love this book so much and I want to remove the patterns around its back. Can I do that?
- So, this is a library? Do you have books here or is this a library for something else?
- Are you the librarian in charge here?
- Can you get me two packs of condoms?
- What is the funniest question someone has asked you as a librarian?
- Not like I want to read but can I please use your WiFi to download the latest Supacell episode?
- Will I find erotic information in this copy of the American Constitution?
- Do you believe in finding love in the library?
- With this much silence, how do you manage to stay awake?
- Are you not tired of your job?
- Why do you stop people from making noise in the library?
- I am looking for a book that has a red cover. Do you have it?
Why Is The Library Always Crowded?
I will recommend “Why is the library always crowded?” to begin with.
It will be funny regardless of whether the library is always full or not because why would you expect the library to be empty?
You can use this when it is a public library or when the librarian works at the college library
So, Someone Asked Me To Read This Book (Hold Up a Dictionary or Encyclopedia) And I Was Wondering, How Good Is It?
For something that will definitely be funny and get a cracking response from the librarian if they have a good sense of humor, pick up a dictionary or encyclopedia and ask them if they think the book is a good read.
You can phrase your question like this “So, someone asked me to read this book and I am wondering, how good is it?”
Can I Steal Someone’s Card And Use It To Collect Books From The Library?
If you are in college and visiting the college library, this is an example of a funny question that you can ask your college librarian.
With this question, you will have them raise their eyebrows. More than their response to your question, I feel their reaction will be hilarious.
Is This The Place Where I Can Borrow Books And Not Return Them?
“Is this the place where I can borrow books and not return them?” is very funny cause why would you want to borrow a book and not return it?
The librarian should have a humorous answer to give you as this question is truly funny. Public libraries are the best places to try this question.
I Cannot Find The General Mathematics Textbook And I Have Looked Everywhere In The Psychology Section. Why Is That?
Try asking “I cannot find the General Mathematics textbook and I have looked everywhere in the Psychology section. Why is that?” if you want a funny question to ask your school librarian.
It’d be unbelievable to be asking this question. You shouldn’t expect to find a math textbook in the psychology section. You can flip this as you like as I have outlined below:
- Biology textbook in the music section
- Medicine textbooks in the agricultural science section
How Many Books Do You Sell Every Day?
You might also get a funny answer or make the librarian laugh when you ask them “How many books do you sell every day?”
This is because books aren’t sold in libraries except of course the library doubles as a bookstore.
But if it doesn’t, then you can use this question.
If I Am Going To Start A Library, What Do You Think I Should Do First?
Another funny question to ask a librarian is “If I am going to start a library, what do you think I should do first?”
Why would you want to start a library? I will recommend you use this question when trying to engage a librarian as a high school student.
I Am A Physiology Major But I Want To Know, Where Can I Get Information To Perform A Surgery?
Now what makes you think you can perform a surgery just by reading books?
It becomes even more audacious when you cite that you are studying a course that’s not related to medicine or puts you in the position to be a part of a surgical procedure.
This is why I believe this question is going to make the librarian laugh hard.
I Love This Book So Much And I Want To Remove The Patterns Around Its Back. Can I Do That?
Imagine the anger or maybe shock on the face of the librarian when you ask them to let you remove the back of a book because you liked its pattern.
If everyone who liked the patterns on books removed them as your question suggests, most of the books in a library wouldn’t have backs and how will people identify them?
So, This Is A Library? Do You Have Books Here Or Is This A Library For Something Else?
If it is very clear that the building is a library, you can walk up to the librarian and say “So, this is a library? Do you have books here or is this a library for something else?”
When you can see people reading and lots of bookshelves, the librarian will be bewildered by this question I am sure.
Are You The Librarian In Charge Here?
This is another question that will get a funny response and to ensure that it is best you ask a librarian who you have built a rapport with. That way they know that you are trying to be goofy and could play along with you.
You can also attempt this one on just any librarian. The trick is to ensure that there is every sign to show that they are the librarian.
It could be walking to the librarian while they are attending to other people or staring at the tag on their desk before looking up to them to ask whether they are the librarian in charge with a cheeky smile on your face.
Do You Have a Book on How to Be Better at Procrastinating?
Another question that might get your librarian in stitches is “Do you have a book on how to be better at procrastinating?”
The librarian may think you want a book about how to stop procrastinating. You might need to be clear that you want a book that helps you procrastinate better.
There are other titles you can try including:
- A guide to extreme napping when you should be busy
- A self-help book for armed robbery
- The ultimate guide to overthinking everything
What Is The Funniest Question Someone Has Asked You As A Librarian?
There is nothing wrong with asking the librarian “What is the funniest question someone has asked you as a librarian?”
It can make them talk about a time or recount an experience when someone asked them a question that was funny.
Not Like I Want To Read But Can I Please Use The WiFi To Download The Latest Supacell Episode?
Asking the librarian whether you can use the WiFi in the library to download a movie is another example of a funny question for them. The WiFi in libraries is for those who need to do research while studying. So, it doesn’t make any sense that you want to make use of it to download a movie.
Another example of a question like this would be to ask the librarian for suggestions about a movie to download with the library’s WiFi.
Will I Find Erotic Information In This Copy Of The American Constitution?
This is another example of a funny question to ask a librarian that is not going to miss. And this is because everyone knows what they’d find in the American Constitution so asking if you are going to get some 18+ information from it is wild and hilarious.
Do You Believe In Finding Love In The Library?
It might be funny to ask the librarian if they believe in finding love while at the library. This is not just a funny question to ask them but a way to flirt with them.
To be on the safe side, while it may appear that you are trying to use it on them if they aren’t cool with it, you can flip it to say you found someone in the library that you now love. Easy peasy.
With This Much Silence, How Do You Manage To Stay Awake?
Seeing how libraries are expected to be really quiet, even though this is not always maintained in some libraries, you can walk up to the librarian and ask them how they manage to stay awake while the library is that quiet.
I will also recommend this question when you are caught napping. For whatever reason you were napping, this is a good question to get a conversation started with the librarian.
Are You Not Tired Of Your Job?
Nothing will prepare anyone for such a question. Imagine someone walking up to you while you are at your business and asking if you were tired of your job, a very random person. The shock on your face will communicate the message.
That shock in response is going to be so much fun to see. Some people may take you up on the humorous spin and deliver a response that will make you crack up. It will eventually be worth it.
Why Do You Stop People From Making Noise In The Library?
This question might get you a funny response but it will be only if the librarian understands that you are only trying to joke around and not being serious with your inquiry.
It will also generate a hilarious response if they get your motive and have a good sense of humor. Without these two concepts in place, this question might not deliver on your intentions. But then, I believe it is worth trying.
I Am Looking For A Book That Has A Red Cover. Do You Have It?
When I saw this question somewhere I almost cracked laughing. What would you be thinking asking a librarian for a book that has a red cover when there’d be hundreds of books in that library with a red color?
There’s no way the librarian wouldn’t know you are trying to play around and if they are in the mood I expect them to come up with a savage and sarcastic response for you.
Final Thought
Asking a librarian funny questions is a great way to talk with them. You don’t have to be all serious and formal with every interaction with a librarian so use the suggestions provided to get the librarian to loosen up a bit with humor.
